risk

Rolling the dice

/ Lindsay Peyton / Leave a comment

Early morning fishermen in the Gulf of Mexico

Pastor Michael Gienger at Galveston Central Church carries this massive energy yet his words are never rushed. He has the ability to say something thoughtful, almost as an aside, that later lingers in your mind.

“I’m not sure it’s faith if risk isn’t involved,” Michael told me as he toured me around his busy church. 

I was interviewing him for an article about a medical clinic housed in what was once a Sunday school wing. We were talking about the concept of “faithful risk-taking.” It’s an idea of moving into the unknown and having courage to act outside of your comfort zone. 

In Michael’s case, that means not being defined by what a church traditionally looks like or what a pastor usually does. He takes a risk by pursuing a different path. He could lose congregation members. The programs could be unsuccessful. Or the rewards could be great, treading into a whole new unexpected world.

Essential to this idea is that the risk-taking isn’t arbitrary. You aren’t just jumping into the unknown or seeking a thrill. It’s an educated move, one that requires careful listening and moving forward in a brave way. 

Michael’s words make me think of this advice my dad used to give me (over and over again) about the perils of “getting comfortable.” It took me a long time to understand him. For years, I thought, aren’t we trying to find an easier way?

When Michael said that risk has to be involved on some level to truly act in faith, my mind began to drift. I started to think about fear, about the ways that I have been playing it too safe lately, the ways we limit ourselves, the ways dreams can seem too far away to even dream of pursuing. 

I’ve been reading Charlotte Bronte’s “Jane Eyre.” The protagonist faces the decision to either stay at the school where she works as a teacher and was once a pupil—or to take a leap of faith and go out into the unknown. 

She opts to leave the only world she knows and places an ad for governess, effectively rolling the dice. 

“Now I remembered that the real world was wide and that a varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and excitements awaited those who had the courage to go forth into its expanse to see real knowledge of life amidst its perils.”

Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

/ Lindsay Peyton / 3 Comments

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Artists are known to suffer from occasional depression and regular mood swings. But creative types are not the only ones who may from time to time dip into fits of melancholy or instances of doldrums.

I usually like to dive into my emotions, dissect them, figure out the root cause and act accordingly. Depression may stem from a living arrangement that no longer suffices, the lack of strong friendships, missing someone — just as an episode of anxiety may reflect a need to exercise, eat, sleep or do something you love/have to do.

Sometimes, however, there’s a deeper blue. Sometimes, it all feels too overwhelming to analyze. Perhaps it stems from things that have happened to you. I admit to being the type who is more consumed by the past than I should be — and despite efforts to not act the victim, I often find it a hard habit to break. It simply hurts to have a broken heart, to have misplaced trust or to have someone cause harm to you in whatever way — and these are things we adults must face as we venture out into the world.

Meghan Austin wrote a story for the New York Time’s Style section on Modern Love, saying “I don’t regret any of it. Love often doesn’t arrive at the right time or in the right person. It makes us do ridiculous and stupid things. But without it, life is just a series of unremarkable events, one after the other.”

Even those things that haunt us — past mistakes and past pain — are markers on our journeys. They give us guideposts. They give us turning points. They give us identity as well.

We venture out even though we may feel scared. We open up even though we are scarred. Sometimes taking a risk is not a poor gamble but just a sign of a life being lived. I think it’s important to be a little wild, to try regardless. And perhaps learning to live with a bit of pain is a part of the process.